Dear Henry, were you an accident?

Dear Henry, were you an accident?

It's time for us to come clean to so many of you... 

Now that Facebook married Instagram and they decided to share everyones business... some of you found out that I had a second Instagram account "workingforbaby"... and if you don't know, now you know. That account was made for Henry, before we even knew what could be.

Here's a little story about Matt and I and how/why we lied to most of our friends and family for so many years. 

When we were younger we talked about kids and how we knew we wanted a family of our own one day but we weren't sure when our time would be, and we weren't in a rush. I stopped taking birth control when we got married, and while we weren't trying to get pregnant, we weren't not trying either, that was over 7 years ago. About 5 years ago, give or take, we decided that we were ready. So we tried. Every month my period felt like a little heart break. The constant "when are you guys going to have kids?" questions were so frustrating. It wasn't anyone business, but that didn't stop EVERYONE from asking.

We didn't want to tell anyone, especially if we never got pregnant we didn't want people to feel sorry for us. 

Eventually even our parents went from "you're too young for kids" to "hurry up we're ready to be grandparents". All of my friends were having their first babies, then the second , and third or more (Selina). All while we sat back and dodged all of the questions. No one realized how hurtful those questions had become and instead of showing our hurt we chose a different route... "We don't want kids" We told everyone, "We aren't ready" "We want to travel more" "I just don't like kids". Only a handful of people knew our struggle. 

We knew something was wrong, I have a thyroid issue that was on the mend and the doctors said once I was regulated maybe getting pregnant would be easier. That was not the case for us. 

Last October we decided that we should check out a fertility clinic, I did some research and ended up at Arizona reproductive institute (ARI), after several tests that both Matt and I did, the conclusion was that neither of us had a problem, the diagnosis was "unexplained infertility". Bummer. The doctor recommended to skip over clomid (ovulation medication), and to skip IUI (intrauterine insemination) and go straight to IVF (in vitro fertilization). 

There were ups and downs in the IVF process and I'm happy to share that information with all of you, but thats not what this post is....

I had someone ask.... "was Henry planned? or was it a surprise?", someone else said "I know you didn't want kids, how do you feel now?". Some people weren't excited when they found out we were having a baby because they thought we hated children. I figured that it was time to put our truth out into the world.

We wanted Henry so bad, we dreamt of our family for years. We knew that we would create someone magnificent. Together we are an unstoppable love force and to bring a child into this world with us as their parents would be to create a super hero. 

Now you know.

-Nikki

Dear Henry, in your first onesie!

Dear Henry, in your first onesie!

Dear Henry, what a beautiful sound

Dear Henry, what a beautiful sound