Dear Henry, in your first onesie!

The days are running together... I do the same thing day to day. 

We wake up at 5:45am, and I pump until 6:05 then I get dressed for the NICU and Matt gets dressed for work. Matt drops me off at 6:40am and we kiss goodbye. As soon as I walk in I take a picture and send it to Matt with a "Good morning Daddy" note. At 8 I change Henry's diaper and take his temperature and take pictures. At 8:30 I go get a coffee and a bagel at the snack shop. After that I sit by his bed, I get up to look at him, then sit, then look at him, then sit. I talk to Tara and the other nurses about their day and our lives... this is my  family, and I really love them! Then at 9 I pump again. sit, stand, sit, stand... computer, pictures, phone... at 11, I pump again. At noon I change his diaper and take his temperature, then I get to hold him! We sit skin to skin for 2 1/2 hours then he goes back. Then I pee, and get a pump, and I pump. Then at 3 Matt gets there, and we hang out with Henry. At 4 Matt changes his diaper and checks his temperature. Then we hang out some more. My parents show up around 4 and we all hang out with Henry. I pump again at 6. At 6:50 we all go home. We feed the dogs and play with them then we eat dinner. Sometimes this is when our night ends, but sometimes around 8 we head back and hang out with Henry, usually it's when Mary is on, because we like to spend time with her too on her 3 (12 hour) days on. We will stay for a couple of hours then go home. Matt will turn on a show and I'll pump one more time before bed. Once I go to sleep I wake up every 3 hours to pump. I'm exhausted. I do nothing but everything all at the same time.... Then the next day comes...

....we wake up at 5:45am, and I pump until 6:05 then I get dressed for the NICU and Matt gets dressed for work. Matt drops me off at 6:40am. At 8 I change Henry's diaper and take his temperature and take pictures. At 8:30 I go get a coffee and a bagel at the snack shop. After that I sit by his bed, I get up to look at him, then sit, then look at him, then sit. I talk to Tara and the other nurses about their day and our lives... this is my  family, and I really love them! Then at 9 I pump again. sit, stand, sit, stand... computer, phone... at 11, I pump again. At noon I change his diaper and take his temperature, then I get to hold him! We sit skin to skin for 2 1/2 hours then he goes back. Then I pee, and get a pump, and I pump. Then at 3 Matt gets there, and we hang out with Henry. At 4 Matt changes his diaper and checks his temperature. Then we hang out some more. My parents show up around 4 and we all hang out with Henry. I pump again at 6. At 6:50 we all go home. We feed the dogs and play with them then we eat dinner. Sometimes this is when our night ends, but sometimes around 8 we head back and hang out with Henry, usually it's when Mary is on, because we like to spend time with her too on her 3 (12 hour) days on. Once I go to sleep I wake up every 3 hours to pump. I'm exhausted. 

See what I did there?.... it really is a cycle. 

The other day Tara showed up with a ziplock baggie with some white onesies inside. She said "I washed them with a little bleach, 2nd rinse, dry, clean my hands before I took them out of the dryer in a fresh ziplock bag. Germ free". She's the most germ free person I know and she is so understanding of how everything has to be to keep Henry safe, duh.... she taught us, I just love it! We waited all of 3 hours before we couldn't wait to put him in one. Once Mary was on we showed her the onesie and she asked if we wanted to put one on at his next cares, and of course we did!

Look at his little butt!

One of the NICU mom's, Amanda, who by the way is the sweetest... said to me weeks ago "There's something about putting an outfit on them that really makes you feel like a mom". She was right!

At the end of every night we go home without our sweet baby boy, it almost doesn't feel real yet. But, it's times like these, the milestones, the excitement in the little things, that remind us that we really are parents, and good ones too. This perfect little preemie white onesie will always be so special to me (He pooped all over it by the way).

A gift from Tara, put on by Mary, pooped on by Henry, while Matt held him... a memory that can never be taken away and that I'll cherish forever!

-Nikki