Dear Henry, People want to know...did we bond?
I went out for drinks (root beer) with some friends (Justin and Erin) the other day and I was asked the questions "is it true what they say? Did you feel an overwhelming love and bond with Henry as soon as he came out?" She also wanted to know if I thought if it was different because they took him to NICU right away.
This is something that I was alway curious about, was it true that you fell in love with your baby the second you laid eyes on him/her?
I might not be able to answer for everyone else but I know how it felt for me... I wanted to be a mom. More then that, I wanted to be a mom to Matt's baby. When I found out I was pregnant I was in love with the idea of our family. When my belly started to grow, I felt empowered and beautiful and I was in love with my body. When I felt the baby kick, I felt love for the unknown. When we found out he was a boy, I was in love with the idea of raising a man that would be like his father. However, with all of this love, I still didn't know this person inside of me...
There was that scare, some woman don't have an immediate bond with their baby... would that be me? What if he scared me? What if I was jealous of his and Matts bond? What if he cried all day every day and it drove me crazy?.... what if....
Then that fateful Saturday came and as soon as I found out that our baby might not make it... I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and sorrow take over my body, I held my stomach while my baby kicked me and I knew that we were one. It wasn't what was happening to me, and it wasn't what was happening to him it was all 3 of us, we were already a unit.
The day that Henry was born was a confusing day, I didn't know if he was going to come out full of life or not, so I was prepared to overwhelm this child with love for his 10 minutes in this world and let him drift to sleep, but i was also prepared to fight for a life time, I knew Henry would decide our path and I had faith in this child. When he came out crying, that was it. My world was turned up side down, our baby was here, he was going to take over the world and the family bond was undeniable. Even though I didn't get to hold him immediately, when he left the room I felt a part of me missing. We went from 12+ years of "Matt and Nikki" and in that moment we were "Matt, Nikki and Henry" This is what life is. The 3 of us, till death do we part.
So in short... did we bond, yes, everyday, over and over.