Dear Henry, why I won't apologize for protecting my preemie
I'm back, I missed you, and I’m sorry I went away! I hope that you stick around because I have so many things to update you on!
Let’s talk about 2 things… 1. The end of cold and flu season and how we survived it and 2. Where I’ve been, and why I took a break from the blog.
Starting with the exciting part! We are officially off of house arrest! As the parents of a preemie, cold and flu season is a terrifying time, and it has finally ended. Henry has been dealt a tough hand…The combination of being a micro preemie, being born without an immune system, and his chronic lung disease mean that even the tiniest cold virus can send Henry into a downward spiral back to ICU, with a possibility of not being able to recover. We were told that if Henry gets sick, he could die.
For 108 days in the NICU The doctors and nurses drilled that into my head “Keep Henry isolated until the end of April”. “Keep him at home as much as possible and no large gatherings”. “Make sure that anyone who comes in contact with Henry has their shots and hasn’t been in contact with anyone who is sick”
When we went home with these strict guidelines we knew that we would have a tough time taking visitors . Any time someone wanted to meet Henry we had to ask “ do you have your shots?” and “have you been in contact with anyone who is sick” and of course “you’re not sick right?”. We’ve only had one close call with Henry coming in contact with a sick person, I was able to remove Henry from the situation and all was fine in the end, not without hurt feelings though. Aside from that incident and a few friends getting angry for me asking them to leave their kids home, or telling people that we won’t be attending holidays, or group events, or play dates, All that matters is that Henry has managed to not get sick! It’s an amazing feat and something that I am very proud of.
What we didn’t see coming was the lack of people that actually tried to come and see him, but thats ok.
To the people who are upset with me for obeying doctors orders, or to the people who I have upset by telling them just how much they have upset me, just know that I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR PROTECTING MY PREEMIE. If you inadvertently put my son in danger, you still put my son in danger.
These past 6 month have gone by so fast, but day to day, it feels like the days drag. Not being able to bring Henry with us every where is very hard. We want everyone to meet this beautiful miracle baby… and now they can! As long as they aren’t sick :)
The other day a friend asked me to see pictures of when Henry was born, so of course I pulled up the blog, and I landed on the post about when Henry was sick. I showed my friend the picture and when she left, I read the post. And just like that... I'm back in the NICU with Mary with a hand on Henry's isolette, willing him to pull through. When I get to the end of the post I look over at Henry, who is in his stroller and I'm rocking him back and forth and he has this massive toothless grin on his face. It reminded me how important my blog is to our story and that leaving it behind is not an option........ Everyone deserves to know this Henry too!
Before I end this post I would like to explain myself…. Where have I been? Why haven’t I blogged in so long? I am going to be completely honest, because I have never lied or sugar coated anything in this blog and thats why I had to step back. There is someone who reads the blog, who is reading this right now…. that has hurt my family to the core, and I didn’t think that they deserved the update. They are pretending not to care anyways, so why let them in? I won't be telling that story because that person is family, and while right now we are all upset, this probably won't last forever.
I know that I am, at times, childish, thats all my absence was....a punishment. Its ridiculous, I know. We got another slap in the face a little over a week ago and it just made me realize that I need to move on.
So here I am…. moving on.
-Nikki
